I also am in the boat of not ever using the battle.net desktop client and getting 2 things:
* Frequent b.net disconnects when using oQueue
* Massive raid lag when oQueue is enabled, especially when going between wings (zones) in SoO
If I /reload, both go away for awhile and then come back. If I disable oQueue everything is smooth.
The issues definitely started for me back when Blizzard changed the API to force addons to use the b.net backchannel instead of via PMs.
Note: I'm not blaming oQueue here. I never reported this from the beginning because I believe they are issues with battle.net's infrastructure not being adequate to handle massive backchannel communications. It would be great if Tiny can find ways to circumvent the issue or tune things to improve them but if he can't find the right way to do that there isn't much he can do.
When I get into a raid I usually log out and disable oQueue until I get out or need it again. I'd use "go dark" but it doesn't persist between /reloads and it re-enables whenever I open my character screen (to display item levels). If those 2 things could be tweaked it would at least allow us to disable it easier ... but that doesn't fix the core problem. Blizzard needs to improve their battle.net servers and allow for larger and more frequent messages before the core problem will go away.